I don’t give a funk!
I guess because I’ve been talking more and more about my own depression, I’ve been hearing a lot from people that are in a funk right now; they’re in a funk for a whole host of reasons, and they’re struggling to get out of it.
So here is my very best advice, from my very own worst experiences of deep, dark drowning, and I’m sending this out to the world with my sincere love.
First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a whole and beautiful human being, and yes I know you’re suffering – and sometimes that suffering is so dark and so seemingly endless – but YOU are beautiful.
Second, a whole lot of STUFF has brought you to this point – feel free to pick what applies to you – possibly several of these:
- You’ve had children and the years of pregnancy and having small children was exhausting and you’ve never had the energy you had before that. My mother-in-law once told me, when her three sons were all grown and in their 30s, that she was STILL tired. I so get that.
- You’ve had one or more jobs and/or careers that have demanded loads of energy and you may have burnt out, or come close to burning out, at least once.
- You’ve struggled financially.
- You’ve been through the wringer in at least one tumultuous relationship.
- Your kids have grown up and left home now and you’re wanting to do something more/different with your life but you don’t know what that is.
- You’ve had some kind of serious ill health.
- You’ve been depressed off and on for at least several months, and possibly several years.
- You don’t feel you have purpose and/or meaning in your life.
- You used to be bright and energetic and happy and you’re not now and you’re not really sure you’re why.
- You lost someone close to you and you’ve not recovered your emotional strength and happiness since.
- You don’t feel you’ve achieved what you want to in your life, you don’t feel able to, and/or you think you’ve failed.
- You doubt your abilities and/or you think you’re a horrible person.
- The voices in your head feed you negative ideas about yourself all the time.
I could go on…
Physically, life is tough, especially if you’ve burnt out from work, or you’ve been drained of energy from the experience of child-rearing or ill-health, and you’ve not regained that lost energy.
Emotionally, loss and hurt of various kinds drains us physically as well, and there is a vicious cycle goes on between emotional pain and physical lack of energy that spirals us ever downwards.
Spiritually – by which I mean the need for purpose and meaning (I’m not talking religion, although that will feed a lot of folks’ spiritual needs and that’s great) – you are dragged further down by lack of physical and emotional energy and prevented by these two from developing spiritual connection, meaning and purpose.
Our physical, emotional and spiritual parts of ourselves intertwine with each other to either spiral us UP or DOWN, and a lack of attention to the health of one or more of these means the journey is downwards, landing you in a FUNK, possibly for weeks, months or years.
The answer, my friend, is not blowing in the wind. Here is a simple recipe – there are more complex recipes and I can help you with those too, but here’s my simple recipe:
- Eliminate sugar and alcohol as a minimum. It goes without saying that recreational and non-prescription drugs are of no value to you. (I’m not interested in a discussion on the healing properties of cannabis – that’s another discussion and I ain’t havin’ it here.) Some people may need to cut down on meat, dairy and/or wheat and you can experiment with these yourself, but sugar and alcohol have got to go. Eat fresh foods and minimise processed food.
- Take a 10 minute walk each day. That’s all. You can of course do more and more is good, but 10 minutes is not hard and no one ever regrets taking exercise.
- Learn to meditate. You can take yoga too, but meditation is better. I’m going to add a free “learn to meditate” course to my website, with the help of a few friends, so stay tuned for that. If you already know how to meditate, then 10 minutes twice a day is your minimum. Again, more is good. People often tell me they’ve tried to meditate and can’t – that’s just because you haven’t been taught properly – it’s not hard, and I can teach you.
This is the bare minimum. Do this religiously and in a couple of weeks I guarantee you will feel better. In addition, you will, over time, need to work on these things:
- learning to forgive
- releasing anger
- releasing judgement
These three stand as enormous thick high walls around you that literally prevent happiness and joy reaching you. It takes diligent practice and attention to learn to slowly break these down. And then you will need to:
- learn to love yourself
- practice gratitude
- learn how to attract happiness to you
These are skills and we’re not taught them, and too many trite internet memes tell you to “love yourself!” without telling you how to do that. It’s like telling a teenager to “just be yourself!” What teenager knows who themself is?!!
I don’t give a funk anymore about funks. They can go funk themselves! Funk off!
If you’d like help with getting the funk outta here, then please message me – I’d love to work with you. If you have a long-standing depression, then take a look at my healing course online at www.the-journey.me for a month-long healing programme that covers all of the elements above and more.